| "What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable | | | | Dr. Dyer frequently talks about "what you focus on is |
| parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities." - | | | | what expands". When he realized that he was not |
| Joseph Addison, English essayist, poet, & politician | | | | following his own wisdom and that the family was |
| (1672 - 1719) | | | | focusing on all the things the daughter was doing |
| I was reminded this week of a wonderful story told by | | | | wrong, he knew they had to shift their focus. Taking |
| Dr. Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite inspirational | | | | what he had learned from the African tribe and his |
| writers and speakers. Dr. Dyer has been featured on | | | | own teachings, the family shifted to sharing all the |
| Public Television recently talking about inspiration. In his | | | | many wonderful things they loved about the daughter. |
| presentations, he shares this remarkable story about | | | | They focused on the very best part of her and as |
| how an African tribe handles misconduct within the | | | | that part "expanded", the addiction problem went |
| tribe. Instead of attacking the person and focusing on | | | | away. |
| what they did wrong, the entire tribe lovingly gathers | | | | Is there someone in your life, (child, sibling, spouse, |
| around the accused person. Then for days, or how | | | | partner, co-worker, friend, neighbor, etc), that you are |
| ever long it takes, each individual in the circle takes | | | | thinking about from a negative point of view? Are you |
| turns saying one admirable thing about the person in | | | | constantly pointing out to them, their shortcomings or |
| the middle. This goes on until everyone has said all the | | | | talking behind their backs to others about them? If you |
| sincerely positive words they want to share. Because | | | | had to make a list of at least ten positive things about |
| of this practice, as you can imagine, repeat offenses | | | | this person right now, what would you write down? |
| are rare. | | | | Are you ready to try a new approach? Take the |
| Dr. Dyer related the story in reference to how he dealt | | | | challenge to shift your focus and look for what's good |
| with the drug abuse problem of one of his daughters. | | | | in the person. Make your list and share it with them. If |
| At one point the family forced the daughter to listen as | | | | you start to slip back into negative thoughts, re-focus |
| other family members reported how much her | | | | by mentally reviewing your list. Then smile as you |
| behavior was "hurting" the rest of them. Sharing their | | | | watch the results! And a side benefit is you will feel |
| hurt and anger, of course, did not change the situation. | | | | better! |