| One aspect of all this that many Westerners | | | | |
| find annoying, and to some degree I have to | | | | It's also possible for Asians to ignore you |
| agree with this criticism of Asians, is that | | | | when you've asked them a question that they |
| they have a tendency to tell you what you | | | | either can't or don't want to answer, either |
| want to hear whether it's true or not. | | | | because it will make them lose face or they |
| | | | know the answer will make you unhappy. |
| If you ask someone if they know the way to | | | | |
| the nearest bank they may say yes even if | | | | If you repeat it, you'll make them |
| they don't. They may even give you false | | | | uncomfortable. Take the hint and shut up or |
| directions so they don't have to lose face by | | | | find a less direct way of asking what you |
| admitting they don't know. | | | | want to know. |
| | | | |
| I've read that this is a hazard for | | | | When you become sensitized to how Asians |
| Westerners doingbusiness in Asia. (How's | | | | think of faceyou will be amazed at how it |
| sales? the American managerasks his Thai | | | | changes your perception of Westerners. In my |
| assistant. Great, is the answer, until the | | | | own humble opinion, I believe a big problem |
| books show the company's nearly bankrupt.) | | | | with our Western world today is that so many |
| | | | people have no concept of face. |
| It's even more of a problem for men searching | | | | |
| for romance. | | | | Oh, we're told we should have self-respect, |
| | | | and many do to a degree, but it's not the |
| A woman may tell you she loves you if she | | | | same. |
| senses that's what you want to hear. She | | | | |
| could be setting you up for a con, but she | | | | In public you see many people not respecting |
| could also simply be being considerate of | | | | themselves or who they're with. We wouldn't |
| your feelings. She doesn't want to break your | | | | have people on welfare except those under |
| heart by telling you of her Thai boyfriend | | | | truly desperate circumstances. |
| (or husband). | | | | |
| | | | To Asians it's a shameful thing. |
| When you're negotiating in Asia, whether it's | | | | |
| for a contract to import computer parts or to | | | | I've seen many Indochinese come here from |
| marry, make sure that you communicate what | | | | camps in |
| you want. If you say you want her to cook | | | | |
| dinner on Tuesday nights and she simply nods | | | | Thailand. They typically do collect |
| her head and says yes, don't be surprised if | | | | government refugeeassistance (the check |
| she wants you to take her to Burger King the | | | | amounts are the same as AFDC) and food stamps |
| first Tuesday night you're in America. | | | | -- for a few months, that is, while they go |
| | | | to English classes. |
| That's a trivial example just to give you the | | | | |
| idea. | | | | But as soon as possible they're out hunting |
| | | | for work, usually referred to apply for jobs |
| On important issues make sure she does | | | | by an agency or a network of their friends |
| understand whatyou expect from her. Make her | | | | who've been in the country a little while |
| repeat it. If it's something truly important | | | | longer, and they soon get one, for employers |
| she'll expect you to say it more than once. | | | | have quickly learned how hard they work. |