| One aspect of all this that many Westerners find | | | | more than once. |
| annoying, and to some degree I have to agree with | | | | It's also possible for Asians to ignore you when you've |
| this criticism of Asians, is that they have a tendency to | | | | asked them a question that they either can't or don't |
| tell you what you want to hear whether it's true or not. | | | | want to answer, either because it will make them lose |
| If you ask someone if they know the way to the | | | | face or they know the answer will make you unhappy. |
| nearest bank they may say yes even if they don't. | | | | If you repeat it, you'll make them uncomfortable. Take |
| They may even give you false directions so they don't | | | | the hint and shut up or find a less direct way of asking |
| have to lose face by admitting they don't know. | | | | what you want to know. |
| I've read that this is a hazard for Westerners | | | | When you become sensitized to how Asians think of |
| doingbusiness in Asia. (How's sales? the American | | | | faceyou will be amazed at how it changes your |
| managerasks his Thai assistant. Great, is the answer, | | | | perception of Westerners. In my own humble opinion, I |
| until the books show the company's nearly bankrupt.) | | | | believe a big problem with our Western world today is |
| It's even more of a problem for men searching for | | | | that so many people have no concept of face. |
| romance. | | | | Oh, we're told we should have self-respect, and many |
| A woman may tell you she loves you if she senses | | | | do to a degree, but it's not the same. |
| that's what you want to hear. She could be setting you | | | | In public you see many people not respecting |
| up for a con, but she could also simply be being | | | | themselves or who they're with. We wouldn't have |
| considerate of your feelings. She doesn't want to | | | | people on welfare except those under truly desperate |
| break your heart by telling you of her Thai boyfriend | | | | circumstances. |
| (or husband). | | | | To Asians it's a shameful thing. |
| When you're negotiating in Asia, whether it's for a | | | | I've seen many Indochinese come here from camps in |
| contract to import computer parts or to marry, make | | | | Thailand. They typically do collect government |
| sure that you communicate what you want. If you say | | | | refugeeassistance (the check amounts are the same |
| you want her to cook dinner on Tuesday nights and | | | | as AFDC) and food stamps -- for a few months, that |
| she simply nods her head and says yes, don't be | | | | is, while they go to English classes. |
| surprised if she wants you to take her to Burger King | | | | But as soon as possible they're out hunting for work, |
| the first Tuesday night you're in America. | | | | usually referred to apply for jobs by an agency or a |
| That's a trivial example just to give you the idea. | | | | network of their friends who've been in the country a |
| On important issues make sure she does understand | | | | little while longer, and they soon get one, for employers |
| whatyou expect from her. Make her repeat it. If it's | | | | have quickly learned how hard they work. |
| something truly important she'll expect you to say it | | | | |